Snap out of self-talk

Remember this. When you find yourself talking to yourself in your head, it’s never a good conversation. Observe that.

Usually it is the kind of conversation where something bothers you (nothing more serious than a bother) and you then create an elaborate conversation to make yourself look smart and tell off that person–who is oblivious to your existence, by the way–about exactly how wrong she is.

Like that old woman at the doctor’s office who was stuck in her phone and then had to go to the counter and cackle at the workers about what an idiot Trump is.

After I left, I had 20 minutes of conversation with myself in my head about her. Rehearsing and revising the precise words I would use to tell her how stupid she was.

To what end? Only to make her know exactly how wrong she is. In my head. In a conversation she will never hear. Nor will I ever see her again.

Who was harmed here? Me.

Here is what I’m doing right now. When I find myself in a long rumination in my head, I just say “acceptance” or “accept”. If I’m lucky, I can remember to look at a tree and appreciate its form. Trees are mystical. 😀

That breaks the cycle momentarily.

This is the essence of “stop talking to yourself and start talking to God”. It is the essence of “when you’re in the ditch, your first job is to get out of the ditch”.

Anderson used to joke about making things worse. “He was wrong. So I told him so.” And laugh.

Explanation. Who am I to judge “wrong”? And it’s in my own head, anyway. I told him in my own head. Useless! I did it to build up my own ego.